Day 314 – A Good Man

Art Apple - Day Three Hundred FourteenI have been blessed with a good man.

He is someone who I can laugh with, share my day, my successes and failures, and someone to lean on in the difficult times. Don’t get me wrong – we’ve had our times and our disagreements as all marriages do.

Doug has dealt with the ups and downs of this last year right by my side. He has been my biggest support in this; he lives this daily with me and he has on a few occasions been very concerned and upset that perhaps I’ve put too much of myself into this journey. You see, he was there when I couldn’t move, when I didn’t want to get into the car to go anywhere because every little bump caused me horrible pain, and he was there when I was humiliated by neurologist from Stanford who laughed at me when I was desperate for an answer.

So… Β he watches over me and is a voice of reason for my passions and drive. He does not want to see me go back to those days if there is any way he can prevent it – he will – even if that means tough love on occasion. But I want to tell you all that Doug Visscher is my hero. He is a man who has stood by me and loved me in my worst of times and I adore him. I couldn’t have asked for a man to love me more. We have weathered some big storms and we are stronger because of them.

Today was difficult day and he brought me flowers. I love getting flowers, what woman doesn’t but I loved the ones today the most of any he’s ever given me because these flowers said “you are going to be ok & I love you.” And I know that as long as I have my good man next to me – that those flowers are right.

Until tomorrow.


Day 314 was created in Letraset Pantone Tria Markers and a touch of watercolor.

In The Studio


1. In The Studio – Photo of the flowers that inspired today’s apple image.

2. Apple Recipe of the Day – Apple Oat Bran Muffins

3. Interesting Project – Embroidered Car Doors



18 Replies to “Day 314 – A Good Man”

  1. So happy to read this beautiful post. You are a good man, Doug! We are lucky girls to be married to men who love so well.

    That msg is perfect for how I’m feeling today too: “you are going to be okay & I love you.” I’m going to remember that.


    1. Unexpected thoughtfulness is so healing. Doug scored some major points yesterday πŸ™‚ xox and yes… I have huge faith that you are going to be ok and that you are very loved!

    1. Hi Betty!
      Hope you are well and winter is close to breaking down under so that your lovely gardens will start peeking up soon πŸ™‚

  2. I don’t know exactly what to say….your post conjurs up so many thoughts and feelings. So I’ll just say how fortunate you two are to have each other.You both are *good people* personified. Out of all of the apples in the orchard, you picked each other. You two deserve nothing less than what you have received in finding one another.xo

    “In the arithmatic of love, one plus one equals everything.”

    1. Melissa,

      I’m not sure how two such different people ended up together – we’ve had our moments. I don’t want you to think that our lives or our marriage has been a cake walk but it is one based on love, mutual respect, shared interests, and laughter.

      I could count on my hands the times we’ve had big fights and we both have no desire to say words that are hurtful or cruel and can’t be taken back so there has never been a build up of resentment that can happen in a marriage and especially one that is dealing with chronic illness. We all say things in the heat of the moment but it doesn’t happen often with us – we talked early on that it was not the people we wanted to be or the kind of relationship we wanted to have and thankfully we both have managed for the most part. We have had our ups and downs, difficult times, and periods of detachment but we’ve both worked to find a way to keep going and get through those times when the easy path seemed well, easier & apart. After 14 years we’ve experienced some of these times. And we have both made compromises to take areas of disagreement or tension off the table. For instance… we have someone clean our house. Amazingly this took a big stress off our marriage because I wasn’t cleaning the house because I physically could not do it and I was angry at him for not helping and he was angry at me because I should be able to at least manage the household since I wasn’t working. There was no getting past this until we compromised and found a solution. The house being clean makes us both feel better and I’ll gladly give up designer handbags or a new car so that that argument and strain is gone.

      Doug has seen the bad times of my AS but didn’t really understand them until he saw them in relief to the me on Remicade because I slowly changed as I got sick and the old me came roaring back once it started working. So, a lot of his understanding comes from time and from having lived with the two different Jenna’s.

      I honestly do not know why I have people in my life who are so understanding – why I’ve been blessed with this support system when others have not but it is part of why I wanted to do this awareness project – because I feel very strongly that I have for some reason been given a situation that allows me to speak up and work for awareness when my friends cannot. I feel that with my strong support system and the fact that I’ve had such great success on Remicade that I wanted to speak up for all of us. I’m not sure I can live up to this but I will continue to try and maybe, just maybe it can help people understand the disease more and learn compassion for what we endure.


      1. A good marriage is not easily defined….and is probably different from couple to couple. My first marriage ended 14 years and 3 children later. My ex is still difficult to deal with – an alcoholic, and now stroke victim, who refuses to take care of his health.

        My second (and last! lol) husband have had our ups and downs too, in the past 7 years of marriage. Life is difficult at times, with many curve balls thrown our way, as it is with everyone. As you said referring to you and Doug, my husband and I have had periods of detachment. But we always work through it. He’s been a wonderful father figure for my sons and his heart is in the right place; if not always where I need it to be when I’m feeling lonely and isolated due to my crazy amount of health issues, both physical and emotional.

        I take life, and my marriage, one day at a time; get through the bitter stuff and savor the sweet.

        Hugs to you…..


        1. So very true. I guess we know a bad one though huh? I’m so sorry to hear about how challenging your first marriage was – but blessed with three children is wonderful. All things are meant to be. Doug was married before we met – and I’m blessed with an fantastic step-daughter but modern families sure do make life challenging at times. I’m so glad we have met Melissa – looking so very forward to meeting you at the Apple-A-Thon and giving you a great big gentle hug!
          xox Jenna

      1. A few days ago she accused me of not putting away the salt and pepper shakers (in her blog! For everyone to see!) I admit that used to be an issue, but ever since she pointed that out to me (a long time ago) I do put them away. Just waiting for her public apology!

        1. @ Doug…that’s right, I read that. Actually at that time you threatened to tell a story about Jenna, and I had that confused in my last reply. As Jenna might be able to tell you, us AS’ers confuse easily,…or maybe it’s just me. I don’t know, I’m all confused now…lol

          1. Oh great Vic… now Doug is going to tell me that my “impression” of the salt & pepper story is me being confused – lol! But, all joking aside – Doug has become very good as guessing words and finishing sentences and my version of charades to try to understand what I cannot express – it is especially prevalent when I’m tired and is one of the symptoms of chronic disease that bothers me the most. I could quip with the best of them but now it’s only on good days that those really good zingers come out.

            In terms of the stories of our marriage pet peeves – Doug may come a foot from putting the S&P in the “correct” spot but I have to admit that my shoes know no true home – ever! <3 – Jenna

          2. LOL! Right now I have a pair in the kitchen, a pair on the stairs, a pair in the hallway, a pair in my bedroom, many thrown on the floor of my closet and the rest in their shoe stack bins where they belong!

    1. I’m the same way Jenna. Sometimes can’t find the right words, or at least can’t get them out fast enough. My shoes are usually kept in the same spot each time.

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