Looking Back – Day 96 – Field Of Apples

Today is Day 96 of the Art Apple A Day Retrospective – for information on the project click here.

Day Ninety Six – January 4, 2010

Looking back 10 years ago today…

Inspiration can come from so many places. I can still see the colors of those dusky lavender and ochre fields in Elizabeth, Colorado in my mind. There are some moments in time that etch themselves deeply into your memory. I live with the vista of the Front Range of Colorado we could see from our home. I remember the rainbow my Dad and I saw driving back from college in western Massachusetts one day. But I also remember the places I didn’t see…

I was at Giverny, France in college – I did not go onto the grounds. I was worried about the entrance fee but didn’t want anyone to know that is why I didn’t enter. That was a bad decision I will always regret.

There have also been vacations where it took everything in me to just be there. Our trip to Costa Rica was about 6 months before my diagnosis and my pain levels were off the charts. We bought me a simple timex watch that we set for every 6 hours and I took strong pain meds to keep me going – but I went on the trip! I didn’t experience a long walk down the beach to the spot with all the shells and I did not get on horseback. I did go on the zip line in the rainforest but my memory of the bumpy van ride out of the remote location where I cried the whole way due to the pain is etched deeply as mental scars that are so difficult to escape. The things I did not see and the opportunities lost due to my health challenges anger me as much as a choice to not see Monet’s waterlilies.

A trip to Spain in August of 2019 was better but I still didn’t do a few things I wish now that I had. Pain is a massive deterrent. And as well as my health is right now, I know how precarious it remains. This is why I make apples – it is my outlet to discuss these things and a way of sharing with others the overlooked life effects of chronic illness and chronic pain. Each apple is my response to these difficult things. I WILL create beauty out of ugliness. I will do what I can that doesn’t require me to worry it might lead to pain. Art Apples are a vista of health – each one a reminder and visual memory that we can keep going. So there AS!

To see my original Day 96 post ~ Field Of Apples ~ from 10 years ago click here or on the image above.

And the story will continue tomorrow…

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