Looking Back – Day 59

Today is Day 59 of the Art Apple A Day Retrospective – for information on the project click here.

Day Fifty Nine – November 28, 2010

Looking back 10 years ago today…

I talk about my love of color ~ an artist friend of my Aunt Jill recently said that I’m a colorist… that was high praise in my book because I adore using color in interesting ways. The definition is an artist or designer who uses color in a special or skillful way! I’ve always seemed to have a knack for understanding them and how they work well together.

When I was in “the crisis years” I was lost to my friends – these colors that give me life and joy. I couldn’t see them… I couldn’t feel them. I know it sounds odd but I felt the loss viscerally. After I was FINALLY diagnosed and started treatment, the colors started coming back. Slowly at first and then a few years later when I detoxed off all pain meds (a story and a half for another day) they flooded back! It became so apparent to me that the pain and the systemic inflammation robbed me of so much and once they were under a bit of control my essence returned. This is when I decided to create, Art Apple A Day. I needed to make art and I needed to share the experiences of all that had happened.

Shifting to today in 2020: About 2 years ago I had to detox off some pain meds once again. After our move to Maine in 2013 I was off my biologic infusion for about 8 months due to the first Rheumatologist I saw not agreeing to give me the medication that at that point I had been on for 7 years! This set me back as you can imagine and I had to start back on some pain medication. These prescription pain meds are imperative at times but what I know from detoxing from them twice now is that they change you. I do everything I can to stay “well enough” to go without them but I know if this dang disease roars again I will likely need to make a difficult decision. These are the types of things that worry me and many about our futures with a chronic painful autoimmune/autoinflammatory disease. How long will I be okay and when and how might that change.

If you wonder why I am so positive and insistent on celebrating my current health it is because I refuse to surrender today to the worry of tomorrow. I take every day I can see the colors as a true blessing and I will dance in my studio, laugh with my friends, and fling glitter every moment my mind and body are willing and able and I will fight with everything I have to not go back to the crisis days.

I talk more in the original post from 10 years ago about the treatment that has helped me so much. It’s crazy I’ve been on it for 14 years now.

To see my original Day 59 post ~ Which hue? ~ from 10 years ago click here or on the image above.

And the story will continue tomorrow…

2 Replies to “Looking Back – Day 59”

  1. Jenna might love looking at paint chips, but when I see her doing that I think “what room is she going to make me paint now?”

    1. At least painting walls is one of my least favorite things to do and so I avoid it at all costs! And… you were the one who brought up painting the doors the other day – Ha!

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