I needed to take care of someone I love dearly who I haven’t heard. I’ve been distracted and “my stuff” got in the way.
I can become extremely focused to the exclusion of everything around me. I think I feel that I have to prove to the world that AS may have stopped me for a bit but I’m fighting back – I push to make a difference in Spondylitis Awareness but I am also driven to prove that we can lead good and demanding and full lives in the face of chronic illness and pain.
This drive ends up being to the detriment of my friends and family because I don’t feel like I can stop until I feel that I’ve proven this. I hate AS. I. Hate. It. I tell people I’ve reached a level of acceptance. Perhaps. Most likely – perhaps not.
I’ve mentioned this on my blog before and promised that I wouldn’t let it happen again, that I would find a balance and simplify to make sure that I took care of the important things – the important people. And here I am – realizing that I’ve done a horrible job at it and continue to make a mess of things.
The important things in life are the ones we love. I love you sweetheart.
Day 288 was created in acrylics and watercolors.