Day 229 – Under the Surface

“It turns out that an eerie type of chaos can lurk just behind a facade of order – and yet, deep inside the chaos lurks an even eerier type of order.” – Douglas Hofstadter

Mostly what is under the surface is so much more interesting than the facade but your facade is so much easier to cope with. I can find the energy for your facade but getting to know you – the real you – takes time and you have to want to let me see you. Why would you want to do that? Why would any of us for that matter because it is so easy to be disappointed.

I want to get to know people but it takes an enormous amount of work – that is just the reality of life and of people. I would say that I don’t think I truly know anyone to a base, deep level but a handful of people and there are still layers and depths I’ll never see or understand about them. This makes me so sad and a bit lonely and it makes me understand more why people turn to God. I am trying to learn how to share more of myself – but I’m so not comfortable doing it. I want you to see the image I want you to see not the soft, vulnerable me. She’s boring and dull and tired and in pain most days. She puts up a very good front.

Until tomorrow.

Jenna

Day 229 was created in mixed media.  This is a new technique I discovered. You lay down the beauty and color and cover it up with burnt umber paint; then scrape away to expose the beauty below. We all have the beauty below but many of us pile on the dark paint to keep others away – we’re afraid no one will want to go to the bother to scrape away the burnt umber of our facade to see the colors and life and sweetness below.

This post was inspired by the courage of some amazing people who are exposing themselves, their stories and their struggles – the least I can do it try to live up to their example. xxooxx