To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else. ~Emily Dickinson
Life just moved along today.
Nothing startling but good news, bad news. Laughter and tears. Thank you to my friends and family (both my family family, and my AS family) for sharing this ride with me.
I could not ask for more – you are all very important to me.
I keep having these moments of reflection about this past year. The days are going by so quickly right now and I have so much to process and figure out and wonder about what comes next!
I think everyone should be told they’re beautiful until they believe it. – Unknown
I just finished watching a story on 60 Minutes about Gospel For Teens, a program in Harlem, NY. The program was started to make sure that gospel is taught to the next generation and doesn’t become a lost form – that is why it was started. Over time it has become something so much more.
It has become a way for these teens to find and build self confidence. The theme song that all students have to learn is called, “Don’t let anyone tell you that you are anything less than beautiful.”
These amazing young people learn to stand up and sing their hearts out and shout to the rooftops that they are amazing, joyful, talented kids no matter the difficulties in their lives. Their personal stories were a great reminder that my difficulties seem small in comparison. When we become so focused on our own troubles we can tend to forget that there are always others worse off then us but that no matter anyone’s individual troubles, we all need to be reminded that we are all ok just as we are. I just want to remind you to believe you are beautiful. Because, you most certainly are.
Until tomorrow.
Jenna
Day 332 was created in acrylics, watercolor, and graphite.
Well, you know the rest. I definitely feel this way driving in city traffic, watching Jersey Shore (I may be one of the only people on the face of the planet who’s watched it only once), and when dealing with health insurance billing issues!
I continue to love making the fabric apples and I think I’ll do one more tomorrow although I go for my infusion tomorrow so we’ll see how much uumph I have tomorrow afternoon!
I created this piece and loved the simple graphic nature of the shapes but I felt it needed something more so I pulled out my beads thinking I’d put some around the edges and then the creative beast took over and decided that this apple had to have a seed bead in every juncture of the checkerboard fabric. Which took forever but I’m glad I followed through and did what I saw it needed regardless of the time it took. The hand sewing of putting the tiny beads on the apple was almost meditative and definitely relaxing but ambitious for the day before my infusion when my energy is waning.
I was thinking at one point when I was only half way through that if Captain Kirk had transported into my living room and seen what I was up to he would have undoubtedly uttered those famous words – “Beam me up Scotty, there is no intelligent life down here!”
Until tomorrow.
Jenna
Day 328 was created in fabric, seed beads, silky thread, and yellow fabric paint.
The sewing machine joins what the scissors have cut asunder, plus whatever else comes in its path. ~Mason Cooley
This quote pretty much sums up what I do when I get my sewing gear out. I have no skill or knowledge of sewing – I just sort of do it and whatever I cut asunder become my paints. I think that I will do more sewing – there is something about pulling the fabrics and patterns and textures together that feels very different than painting or drawing. My pieces are a bit chaotic since I’m just winging it but… boy did I have fun today!
You can pick up a sewing machine for about $100 and I guarantee you’ll love trying it out. I think because so much of sewing comes with instructions and patterns we forget that you can just forget about all of that and just play. If you think you can’t do it because you don’t know how, think again – don’t listen to the “rules” of sewing or if the stitches are straight or secure or proper. Just have fun – who cares if what you end up with.
So… SEW, even if you are “so so” at it – you’ll have a great time in the doing!
Until tomorrow.
Jenna
Day 325 was created in scrap fabrics, a $100 sewing machine, and some really pretty shiny thread!
What an amazing modern day fairy tale Shrek is. An ogre who finds true love with a princess who is beautiful on the inside. Shrek goes on quite an adventure all in the hopes of getting his quiet, lonely life back to normal and having his swamp ousted of all the fairy tale creatures.
What Shrek finds much to his surprise is friends and love. It’s an irreverent tale of happiness and life lessons! One of my favorite scenes is when Shrek helps Donkey face his fears – a scene when his heart starts to truly soften.
Shrek helps Donkey over a rickety bridge and says…
“Come on, Donkey. I’m right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support, we’ll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time.”
Shrek gets Donkey distracted – he says “That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.” His way of saying each step Donkey takes is one more that will get them there together.
All this and the return of “I’m a Believer!” Quite a tale – one that’ll do for sure!
4. Check out the new and improved emails from – The Daily Apple! If you haven’t already done so, please sign up to receive apples in your inbox. The New Daily Apple will include information that I don’t post on my blog including art, health, and of course… apples!
How shall we adjust to the morning silence that does not belong
In the empty space left by the absence of our bluebirds song?
– Wendell Long
Yesterday I got a phone call. A friend had passed away unexpectedly.
I had only met Nicolle in the end of June but the news came very hard for me. You see, Nicolle lived with chronic illness. She and I bonded very quickly over a few mornings of coffee. We discussed the things we had in common; years looking for a diagnosis, stories of dealing with the health care system, our love of animals, our mutual sadness of never having been able to conceive a child, and intimate details of a difficult road.
Although I hadn’t known Nicolle long, I felt I had found someone I could call at any time and find understanding. I had found someone who I could make plans with and cancel at the last minute with no worries about being judged. In fact we were all going to go hear a local cover band last month and Nicolle called a couple of hours before and said she wasn’t up to it. I was disappointed – I wanted her to have an evening away – to be in a “safe” circle of understanding friends and just let the music absorb her. I wanted it for her because I wanted it for me and I thought it might be good for her. I’m glad she didn’t go – I’m so very glad she listened to her body and knew that I would understand. I didn’t think she was looking like she felt too well but she was beautiful and spunky and seemed to have energy and light.
I don’t know why people come into and out of our lives. I believe all encounters are meant to be and have life lessons attached. Nicolle and I met by chance. A phone number I had taken off a bulletin board at the local store a year earlier for pet sitting was still on my refrigerator when I needed to find someone to watch our home and pets when we went to Maine over the July 4th holiday. What if I had called that number last August when I first needed it? We would have had almost a year to know and love and share and support one another. What if I had tossed it away long ago and never met her?
What if?
I’m feeling so many mixed emotions right now. I should have seen something. I should have called last week when my gut said I needed to – it had been too long. I should have been there for her more.
We sat here on my deck a few weeks ago and she was telling me how unwell she was feeling and I asked her why she didn’t go to the doctor and she said she was tired of being in the hospital; she was tired of them not knowing what was wrong with her and she just wanted to be at home. What if I could have done something…
Nicolle, Bella Bluebird, passed away Monday morning. She laid down and went to sleep in her home. Rest in peace sweet friend – I will miss you and hold you in my heart. Thank you for coming into my life if even for a moment. True to you’re name your were beautiful happiness.
Until tomorrow.
Jenna
Day 322 was created in mixed media of collage and paint – and a touch of gold.
“Really love your… apples, want to shake your tree” – Steve Miller Band, with a slight improvisation.
This song takes me back and makes me sing it in the goofiest of ways, swaying my hips and hearing the tune in my head. If fact, since I decided to post this apple and topic today, I can’t stop singing “waaaaan wooooow” and “oooee Baby.” I can’t carry a tune so… I sing anyway!
This is the exact thing I love repeating over and over to bug the beegezus out of my sweet husband Doug until I get him to laugh or scream (yeah, I perform until I get a reaction – childish but oh so fun.)
Today I’m actually feeling sorry for the poor guy. I’m a bit giddy silly for some reason this afternoon and since he has a home office he is lucky that he has zero commute but unfortunate in that he has to put up with my antics all day long. “Lovey, dovey… lovey dovey…. lovey, dovey – all the time”
Honey – “You’re the cutest thing that I ever did see!” LOL! Even when you don’t put the Salt & Pepper away – humph.
Until tomorrow.
Jenna
Day 321 was created in mixed media collage and acrylic paints.
4. Check out the new and improved emails from – The Daily Apple! If you haven’t already done so, please sign up to receive apples in your inbox. The New Daily Apple will include information that I don’t post on my blog including art, health, and of course… apples and whatever strikes my fancy 🙂 Take a look at a sample and sign up!
I first saw this quote a few years ago on my step-daughter Amanda’s facebook page and I was thrilled. Thrilled because I loved the quote but thrilled mostly because I felt so proud of the woman she had become. Leaping isn’t an easy concept, in fact it is darned hard every single time we do it. But, believing in leaping did allow for Amanda to move across the country in hopes of a job and something a bit different, it did allow her to persist in her pursuit of her MBA despite the challenges with financing an advanced degree, and it did allow her to make it the 9 miles she hiked this past weekend in preparation for a trip out to Colorado to climb her first 14’er.
Fourteeners, or 14,000 foot peaks as they are most affectionately known and of which Colorado has 53 or 55 depending on who you ask. Reaching the top of one allows for boasting and bragging rights when “bagged” and adoration if all of them are successfully summited. Thankfully am allowed to continue living in the state of Colorado because I did in fact “bag” one. Amanda and her boyfriend Tony have been training for their visit over Labor Day weekend to hike with Doug up either Evans(14,265) or Grays(14,278). Hopefully they will have better weather than she and Tony had this last weekend because they were miles from their car and it started to downpour and then hail! And, the last few miles back were uphill to the trail head. All in all, it sounded miserable but Amanda spoke like a true Visscher and emailed that “at least our new hiking boots are broken in” and “I felt like this hike was a little out of my skill level, but I made it, (of course, at some point you don’t really have a choice, you have to finish if you want to get out) it was a good challenge, though.”
And isn’t that it with most difficult situations in life. We can leap, face adversity and unknowing head on, and finish because that is what we have to do.
My step-momish reply… “You did it! I love these kinds of stories – you will tell it over and over… and it show that we can do whatever we set our minds to. And this way… we know when we do have to surrender – then our minds and bodies truly mean it.”
I loved to push myself before being diagnosed with AS. I did some crazy things to prove to myself that I could do physical things. I think I knew quite young and many years before I got very sick that things with my body weren’t quite right so I pushed and climbed, and skied, and jumped. And I’m grateful for every insane thing I did because now I know that my mind and my body really mean it that I can only do so much. I will still push myself only it will be in a different way.
5. Check out the new and improved emails from – The Daily Apple! If you haven’t already done so, please sign up to receive apples in your inbox. The New Daily Apple will include information that I don’t post on my blog including art, health, and of course… apples and whatever strikes my fancy 🙂 Take a look at a sample and sign up!
Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn. ~Elizabeth Lawrence
August is marching on. I’ve started to feel the air change and the weight of the hot days lift. Last night the first hint of fall showed up with a blessed cool breeze that allowed me to snuggle under my down comforter.
I hope to take some time to stop and watch the season starting ever so slowly to change.
“The earth laughs in flowers” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love to create and tend a garden.
Although our dry and dusty climate here in eastern Colorado can be a challenge I feel a huge sense of accomplishment in watching my vegetable garden come to life. Eating foods you have sown, tended, and picked feels real. It feels right to me and it is a hobby that keeps me active, intrigued, and engaged. But I plant flowers to see the pallet and texture of a composition come to life. I thrill when the first buds start to appear in the spring and I feel like the perennials who come back to visit me each year, thriving a bit more with time and care, become my friends. I speak to them – in my mind anyway as I walk past, “Hello Ms. Butterfly Bush, your purple is looking especially vibrant today!” And,”Ooh Hollyhock, I’m sorry to hear you are having such a bad case of the grasshoppers.” Flowers are joy and love and laughter.
3. AS’er Spotlight – My friend Stephanie was the inspiration for today’s post. She has a Garden Center in northern California and also has AS – Merced Gardens!